A Simpler Life

I Was Made For Sunny Days and Raw Blueberry Cashew Cheescake

2012-02-05T15:55:00.000-08:00

We have had glorious weather of late. Clear, sunny skies with cold temperatures, but I don't care. I can put on a sweater, but I can't make my beloved Sun come out in these parts. I have been dabbling in cashews recently. This is a Raw Blueberry Cashew Cheesecake. Very, very good.

This is what I did:

I soaked 3.5 cups of cashews in water overnight.

In the food processor, I pulsed the cashews(reserve 1/2 cup for cream topping) into a fine paste and added through the top:

1/2 cup agave syrup

3/4 cup coconut oil, melted

1/4 cup water

vanilla paste, a lot, maybe 2tbls

juice from one Meyer Lemon and the zest

about two cups frozen blueberries

I blended it until it looked like a thick, purple smoothie and put it into this crust:

1/2 cup raw walnuts

1/2 cup raw almonds

1/4 t sea salt

1/4 cup golden raisins, you can use dates, dried fruit, anything like that

1 t almond extract

I blended in the food processor until it stuck together and lined my favorite pie plate because spring form pans scare me.

I spooned the filling into the pie plate, covered it and put in the fridge for 3.5 hours.

The Cream

1/2 cup soaked cashews

1/2 cup water

2 Tbls agave syrup

2 Tbls high quality vanilla paste

1/4 coconut oil melted

Again, blended until smooth and then whipped it up a bit. I put it in a container and refrigerated it. After the pie had set for 3.5 hours, I spread the cream on the top and let it set until we ate it. I mean devoured it.

I also made a sauce to go with it:

2 cups fresh blueberries

3 Tbls agave syrup

juice from one lemon

a lot of cinnamon, maybe 1 1/2 Tbls

I blended this up in the little chopper and served it with the cheesecake. It tasted fresh and alive. Really yummy.

Try it. Really. So good.

Xo.

So Quiet

2012-01-22T05:39:00.000-08:00

I am not sure why I have been so quiet here. I used to be quiet here because a certain attorney was reading this blog for slimy purposes. That period is finally over, unless said attorney likes this sporadic blogger and continues to read. Somehow, I doubt that, so I feel much more free, yet remain so quiet.

My days have been filled with teaching and planning and it is so good to have work. It is not without its challenges, as most things in life. However, I think my long dark time, the days I spent alone have helped. I feel less urgency about, well everything. I am learning to see only that which is front of me and deal with one piece at a time. I spent many years thinking I had to take care of everything. As a single mother of two, I kind of did. But it was an illusion.

Emerging from a deep state of depression was frightening. In the beginning, I found myself counting every minute I would be away from the house. Conversations would happen in my head like this, "You only have to be out of the house for four hours. You will be back home by 1pm. You can do this." And I did. And I had fun most days.

A few weeks ago I noticed that I do not obsessively count minutes and hours in my mind. Sometimes, I just go to school. I still prefer to be in my lovely cottage with the beagle and those who love me unconditionally, but I venture out.

The weather has been less of a hinderance to me this winter. We have been blessed with gads and gads of winter sunshine, which makes my heart soar. This is very rare in The City of Roses, so I am careful to not take for granted this sweet and mild winter. Of late the weather has been wild and diverse. Yesterday while leaving this amazing Portland store, we were forced to walk through hail and heavy rain. As the front passed, sunshine and clear blue skies dried our wet coats and left us craving Thai food.

I sit now in a hotel room overlooking the flashing Portland, Oregon sign and two of our 12 bridges. Despite the rain and lack of sunshine, I do love my new city. It is the perfect size for me and my husbandly. Our children gifted us with a mini-break for Christmas. So we are vacationing in our own city, ordering room service and drinking cocktails on our balcony. It has been lovely and I have been able to look into the eyes of my love more deeply than I do when we are folding laundry or mopping the floors.

So, I am. I am here. I am doing. I am painting. I am sculpting. I am teaching. I am loving. I am not counting minutes and hours. Well, most of the time. I am grateful for all of the bright days and all of the dark days. For all of these days make up my life and if I forget that, what is the point of being gifted these beautiful days that create a lifetime? Xo.

New Year

2012-01-02T06:47:00.000-08:00

New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights.

~Hamilton Wright Mabie

A Warm and Lovely Weekend

2011-12-27T10:06:00.000-08:00

There was a quiet morning of opening thoughtful gifts; a spectacular Christmas morning sunrise and a lazy day of lounging and cooking. As the sun set, we sat for a 14 course Indian Feast, prepared by me...May I say? It was delicious. We had sleepover guests, so the loveliness spilled onto Boxing Day. Vegan waffles and fresh from California tangerines for breakfast and leftovers with hot samosas for lunch. We painted and played music and jacks. We read books and dreamed of cool names for our food cart. All of this was followed by a long winter's nap. Husbandly had to return to the grind, but I am basking in the glow of a lovely, lovely weekend. My heart is full of love and gratitude for the sweet life we have forged together.

A gray, blustery day sways outside the windows, but Merry The Wonder Beagle and I are basking in the glow of all of the love and joy that spilled out into our home these blessed days. I hope your heart glows like mine today.

Long Silences Means Full Life

2011-12-19T18:46:00.000-08:00

So many details fill my days. Singing, planning, drawing, painting, sewing, what a wonderful time to pass this time of ours. I have a little holiday time for nesting and decorating and putting the finishing touches on our handmade portion of the holidays. So much to be thankful for this season. We have health and love and even a little sunshine. Who says climate change is a bad thing...?

The Christmas Tree Stand is a recent acquisition. $20 at our favorite vintage store. We love it so much, we kind of habitually tilt our neck downward to enjoy its beauty. The slippers are shoes for pre-schoolers stitched by 14 year olds, cute, no?

Xo.

Dylan Thomas

2011-11-18T05:45:00.000-08:00

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rage at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright

Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,

And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight

Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,

Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

-Dylan Thomas

Things I Miss

2011-11-12T08:25:00.000-08:00

Ha. Hamburgers, Fruit Stands and Ocean Breezes. I would call that low maintenance. The Husbandly wanted to stop for In-N-Out swag, we couldn't just leave the site of The In-N-Out University without eating something. It really was the most beautiful burger. The bun was glistening, it was perfection. Husbandly really enjoyed himself. Like I said, we are a simple people.

Quick Trip South

2011-11-10T04:57:00.000-08:00

We took a quick trip to Los Angeles. It never disappoints. We drove through the farms of Oxnard and Ventura, munching on too juicy oranges and fresh pomegranate. The weather was fine and clean and clear after a deluge on Sunday morning. Just the way I like it!

After The Rain

2011-11-04T20:56:00.000-07:00

My favorite days in The City of Angels are the days that follow a storm. The rain and wind wash away all of the grit that settles on the city, allowing it to twinkle and sparkle like the jewel she really is...I hear the skies are grumbling today, meaning tomorrow, the city will be sparkling. And I will get to see her!

Transitions

2011-10-30T03:55:00.000-07:00

I have been busy switching seasons. After years in Los Angeles, I forgot that the switch of the seasons means a little more work. The garden can't just keep blooming; there is gleaning and mulching and all the summer toys must come inside. The hammock officially came down a few weeks ago. So sad. The herbs have been harvested and are hanging to dry, and all the pots are being emptied and stacked, waiting for the spring. A few new tulip bulbs are resting deep in the earth this year too. A new raspberry plant is rooting and a pink lavender plant joined the group. There are few mums giving one last bloom, but I suspect by Thanksgiving, they too will find rest.

I have been painting and sculpting and reading, enjoying the last bits of warm sunshine...

All I have left are my warm memories and this painting to remind me of the heights of summer!

Kaleidoscope

2011-10-16T07:02:00.000-07:00

Mary

2011-10-04T06:07:00.000-07:00

A leather crown of California Poppies and Northwest Dogwood

Through The Cosmos

2011-09-30T16:56:00.000-07:00

No More Words For Now

2011-09-30T08:38:00.001-07:00

Apologies

2011-09-11T08:14:00.000-07:00

I feel so fickle, deciding to tell the truth. Then being silent for so long. It has been a dark time, despite the sun. I try to be involved in the world, but I struggle. I decided to tell the whole story, but now the hot, orange sun is shining. Even though we are still in Portland, it feels like The City of Angels at Michaelmas Time. I am distracted. There are summer fires east of Portland, casting a searing glow upon everything. The sunrise has no ribbons of violet or pink, but just a deep, penetrating vermillion effulgence. The days are dry and hot. The grass is crispy and dead. As I sit on the porch steps in the late afternoon, I am hot. Like all the way to the bone hot. These are the days I long for in February. To be so hot, I am miserable. I have always lived in simple abodes, usually sans dishwasher or air conditioning. I have learned to love the shifting of the extremes in weather without being lulled into complacency by endless cold air or houses sealed tight. So, here I am and for now, this is what I have been doing:

Ripening Ground Cherries. Like teeny tiny Pineapples.

All the neighborhood babes are out playing in the sun.

Blackberry Pies are on the menu.

A little en plein aire.

A little puppy love.

Twenty One

2011-08-11T07:56:00.000-07:00

An addition to the Blair Lake saga, I didn't mention what I did four days later. It just so happens that my first-born entered the world a mere four days after my 23rd birthday. So after my birthday swim and a few days at work, I made my way back down the fire road. This time with a very large vegan birthday cake for my girl. She was turning ten. And now, she is turning 21. I have raised on her on my own for most of her life, I was happy to do it. I like her, she is fun to be around and witty and has great taste in vintage clothes. She is a beauty. And I wasn't sad to be a single mother. Really. It was hard and lonely and isolating at times, but at the end of the day, it felt good to be their mother.

To work hard and earn the money to support them, it was nice. I am glad that I had the opportunity then, because now, well now, I don't have a career. So I guess I would have been screwed. So I am glad I had the opportunity to teach in that school in Altadena while I did, it provided me with income and health insurance. I thought it gave me more, relationships, value, but I was wrong. All of that was ripped away when I was forced to hire an attorney to help fight Employer's Insurance of Nevada. They were the cut rate Workers' Compensation company that the school hired. It was all ripped away. All of the relationships I forged and nurtured are gone after eight years. Gone. I mean I may NEVER see or speak to these people ever again. The teacher I walked with EVERYDAY during our free periods, sharing teaching tips and family stories, I may never take a walk with her again. It kind of hurts my heart, because I thought our friendship was real. I also love her daughter, I met her when she was seven. She hates me now. For good reason in her eyes, I suppose...but I still love her and her mother very much. I think of them often.

There are many other stories of lost friendships just like this...just because of this work injury. It makes me want to cry....

Summer In The Pacific Northwest

2011-08-03T07:47:00.000-07:00

Blair Lake

All the stories of the rain are true. It slips down in great damp sheets. Day after day after day. This summer began about two weeks ago. Really. The second week of July felt like October. However, when summer does arrive here in these parts...the heart soars for the glory of the day. Bright blue skies, luminous white, puffed clouds and the greens of well fed trees.

The summer after my independence was lovely. Strings of sunny days, cool indigo nights, just thinking about it makes me swoon. The children were going to be camping with some friends to a hidden lake 15 miles down a logging road. It is a treacherous journey, the cars are white from the dust upon arrival, you can only drive three-four miles an hour. There are only a handful of camps dotted around the most serene lake. We arrived on the eve of my thirty-third birthday. The afternoon was busy with setting up camp kitchens, common areas and comfy sleeping chambers.

Camping sleep usually eludes me, I woke before the dawn and watched day creep over the tree line and reflect mirror pools on the surface, like one dimensional bubbles, resting on the water, before slipping into the depths of the lake. I wanted to dive into the lake. It was my birthday, I was 33. I like those same-same numbers. 11, 22, 33...I will be 44 in a few days. Again, I digress. I wanted to dive into the lake, slow motion style, like the movies. I was afraid the water would be cold. But because, my children's father didn't break me, because I was empowered, I just stood at the shore, walked in a few feet and dove head first into the lake(I like to think in slow motion.)

There was no shock of cold. No gasp for air from the shock of snow melt. The shallow lake had been warmed by the sun, it was welcoming, waiting for me. I swam and swam and swam. I was the only one awake. I floated in the center of the lake, light watery fingers holding me up.

I don't remember making the trip back up the fire road that morning, inching my way back to Eugene, alone. I had to head back to work. But that morning, the morning I turned 33? I was floating in a lake, deep in the woods at dawn...

What Came Next

2011-08-02T08:14:00.000-07:00

After The Phone Call, my soul was set free. I never looked back again. The children and I moved forward in giant, jolly steps. We took trips to the coast, the forest, made vegetarian tacos and ate tons of them on our pink table on the lanai. The Girl Child painted at her easel and pretended to practice her cello. The Boy Child was completely preoccupied with Star Wars and had a room that overlooked a Christmas Tree Farm.

The Waldorf Teacher Training Program fed my searching heart, posing questions and pushing my limits. As a part of The Foundation Year curriculum, the students participate in a play. I had not been in a play since my breakout role as Gretel in Grade Five in which I developed the most insane, heart wrenching, love-sick crush on Hansel. I digress. I was in a play. I was one of the three gods. As a surprise, in one of the scenes we put our lines to the tune of "Baby Love." We even included choreographed dance moves. It was pretty funny. When in doubt, Motown.

This Part

2011-07-28T07:49:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I don't want to write this part...It was a good time. The Phone Call came at this point. The one I had always hoped would come. The children's father called in desperation when he realized that this time, I was indeed moving on. It was over. He tried all of his old addict manipulative behaviors, but I was immune. During the Phone Call, his voice changed, it became sweet and soft, like in our early days. "You are my best friend..." he whispered. In a sure and steady voice I replied, "Next time, you should treat your friends a little bit better." I hung up.

Over the next several months, after mediation and time, we tried to be "normal." He would try to pick up the children on the weekend, but he was never consistent and then one day he looked weird. My gut told me to keep the children with me. I had to be insistent but calm. I didn't remember my eight year old daughter standing there, overhearing my defense of their safety. A few weeks ago(she is on the cusp of turning 21) she told me she has always remembered that moment, the moment I protected her, kept her safe. She told me how she thought I was so brave. I remember feeling brave, confident. I am so glad she witnessed that moment.

Many years later, she was brave. She was brave when she stood up to that father who hurt her and left her and promised birthday gifts that would never come and phone calls that never rang through...She was brave when she told him he was nothing to her. She needed nothing, wanted nothing from him. Maybe, in this part, I was brave to show her how to be...

After That Night

2011-07-26T04:58:00.000-07:00

I did take precautions. This was the end, it isn't always for relationships like this, but it was over, finally. I began parking my car close to the restaurant and got a Club since the ex had a key. I didn't have to do it very long. He soon lost interest in our daily lives. We tried a few "normal" routes, like mediation and child support orders. It all ended badly. The mediator actually called and let me know that she could no longer help us, the ex reminded her of her ex, go figure. She told me there was no hope for him, he was never going to do what he said he was going to do, she had seen it a million times. I will always remember what both the mediators told me, "You propose and he disposes." He never did anything he said he would do. He undermined all of our agreements. So I just kept going forward. In the end, both children are adults now, he paid a total of $500 in support, plus I got $30 a week from his unemployment check for about six months in 2004. That was actually really helpful...He was eventually court ordered to pay $240 a month in child support for two children in 1999. Since I made more money, I was responsible for 80% of the children's care. The children never saw a dime of that support. Ever.

Did I mention how great work was going? I made good friends, I had a bit of a social life and I was making enough to take care of the children. School was also enlivening, I was starving for learning and I gobbled it up! I worked long hours those days. I went to school a couple of nights a week and a had a few day classes, plus I usually put in 50 or more hours at the restaurant. The weekends were filled with work and a long Saturday morning class. I remember being so envious of my classmates who would leave class on Saturday afternoon with a free schedule. Weekends were the hardest for me and the children. I worked all day Friday at the restaurant, hurried to class at 5pm and was usually free by 10pm. A friend picked up the children from school and kept them over night as I had class from 8am-1pm on Saturday. The children would often stay with the sitter overnight again, as I would rush home, try to get a nap under my belt and head to the restaurant until 3am. The sitter would drop them off early Sunday, we would spend the day together before I dropped them off at the sitter at 4pm for my night shift. I made it a point to pick the children up on Sunday nights so we could start the week together, even if it was late. I remember dark wet nights, carrying my son on my back while he nodded in his sleep. Sometimes, I would carry my daughter on my front, so we could hurry through the empty parking lot together. I would gingerly put them in their own beds, tuck them in and fall in an exhausted heap on the couch.

I Wasn't There Long

2011-07-25T06:11:00.000-07:00

Not even a second. Before I knew it, I was surrounded by my new friends. People I had only known for a few months. Arms clad in white shirts lifted me up.

"Are you okay?"

"Who is that?"

But the best part of all? I looked over to the line, past the plates of food waiting for hungry customers...I could see Mike. He and I had barely spoke ten words since I was hired. He was big and burly and listened intently to Car Talk while prepping the line. He had heard my ex was a jerk. I guess that is why I saw him wielding a butcher knife over his very tall body. "Where is he? I'll get him!" as he disappeared out the back door. The rest was a blur. Mike was stopped and I agreed to go speak with the long lost ex.

A little back note: Life was going swimmingly at this point. I was in school, I had just been promoted, I was making life long friends. The children and I had just gotten over a bout of pneumonia. On my first day out after being bed ridden for two weeks, I was rear ended. The car was still wrecked(but drivable), waiting for an appointment at the auto shop.

When I walked back into the dim restaurant, my table of ten eagerly awaiting their server, he looked me in the eyes and asked, "What happened to the car?"

Really? The car? After all that had transpired, months of not knowing whether he was alive or dead, the car?

We stepped outside to speak alone, which really meant that every four seconds, one of the guys from the restaurant walked by, insuring my safety. He expressed his concern that I was "selling" meat and karmically I was doomed. "To support my children," I said, "I think I will risk it." I don't remember much from that conversation, save for the fact that I was surrounded by people who cared about me and were willing to protect me. That is what I remember most from that night...

This Place

2011-07-24T07:54:00.001-07:00

This place was created for me by my beloved. He thought it would help me find some peace. It did, for a bit.

Now when I look back at the posts, I realize I have not been very honest with you...or me. I fill the pages with lovely photos from a life I cobble together 10 or 15 minutes a day. The rest of the time, I am in bed. Or watching the world move slowly from my window because I lack the ability to leave the house. It looks lovely because I am good at that. I can make the ugliest things so beautiful. I look best when I have no sleep. I think it is a survival technique I picked up over the years of living on this planet. It does not mean I am overly broken or overly flawed. It just means that I am simply human.

If you are reading this, know that much of it is geared to a team of attorneys in Los Angeles who have had a field day with my life for the last two and half years. They have read every word in this blog, photocopied it, offered it as evidence that I am happy. They dig up my children's father, the crack addict and brought him into the picture after 11 years. They have had vans parked out in front of my house and filmed me for weeks. In the weeks they were filming, they got three days of footage. Why only three? I am sorry to say, most days...I was been in bed. It is hard to admit, especially when I look at my former life of 16 hour days and working seven days a week. Tears are welling as I type, because I love life. Ask anyone who knows me. I can find beauty in the smallest detail...I have been wasting my life, mourning for old friends and relationships that have dissolved. My work with 25 wonderful children has been erased, my relationship with their parents, gone. My career has been ruined. Waldorf is a small community. I am blacklisted.

I am trying to move forward, but I keep looking back...

It was the Summer Solstice, 1999, I left an abusive relationship to an addict with two small children in the dark of night. I roused the babes from their beds and started a new life. Within a week, I had a job as waitress in clothes I bought from the thrift store with borrowed money. I borrowed $50 from the friends I was staying to use as my bank(cash one uses to make their own change,etc.) for work until I made enough tips to have my own bank. Before the end of the summer, I was living in a brand new apartment. I was making enough money to support the children and I had enrolled in a Waldorf teacher training program. Within a few months, it all came together.

My children's father disappeared. We did not know if he was alive or dead. The children began counseling, not because we were overly broken, but because that is what normal people do when life's challenges overwhelm them. After some time, their counselor told me that their worries were the worries of every child their age and we could go forth in happiness. And we did. I was happy to be in school and thriving. I was promoted to manager at the restaurant and put in charge of hiring. I earned enough money to pay for school, and even take the children on mini-breaks to the coast. He didn't break me. In fact, I grew stronger. So you are wrong, Los Angeles Attorneys. Very wrong.

One night, I was working the busiest station in the restaurant. A party of 10 had just been sat in my station. As I exited the kitchen, I was dumbstruck. My children's father was standing three feet from me. I had not seen or heard from him in months. I had no idea where he had been or what he had been doing. It was like seeing an apparition. I turned right around and walked back into the kitchen, leaned my back against the cold steel of the walk-in and slid to the ground.

It Is The Small Things

2011-07-22T05:39:00.000-07:00

I have to appreciate the small things in life or, well, I would be really sad.

Bits Of Summer

2011-07-18T08:44:00.000-07:00

We have only been getting little bits of summer weather here the Pacific Northwest. Don't get me wrong, when the sun is shining, or even kind of shining it is glorious. Absolutely glorious. However, this weekend rained...a lot. Too much for July. I felt like baking a pumpkin pie. I thought it was autumn.

We have had fun when we could. Lots of cookouts on the deck. Some family and friends. Beer Festivals, Chocolate Cake for the new cake stand and long hair. I know it sounds random, but five years ago I shaved my head(for a very good reason, I might add) and have been longing for it back. I know. I am selfish, but I missed my long hair. And now it is back.

That strange vehicle at the top, you ask? A Bike Bar. Yep, it has a bar and you peddle around the beer fest...I love Portland.

Just hoping for a few more bits of summer...Xoxo.

Things I am Enjoying In The Sunlight

2011-06-25T06:55:00.000-07:00

There is this recipe I just stumbled upon. Homemade Nutter Butters. These happen to be my sweethearts favorite cookie, so I dove right in! This recipe is written in a smooth and easy fashion, making these many step cookies a breeze to make. While you are working on one section, the other is cooling, baking, etc. The only hitch I am having is with the dough. One should be able to roll it out, but I find it difficult, so I am going to have make a few more batches...Just to perfect it.

You can have Homemade Nutter Butters in about two hours. Danger, Will Robinson.

Then there is this sweet China Girl sucking her thumb. I simply could not leave her at the vintage store. She has been in the house for about four months now. The other day, the 18 year old man-boy was lounging on the couch-gangly legs and arms and elbows everywhere. He looks over at me and says, "Is that angel picking her nose??" Yes, sweetheart, that angel is picking her nose. Do angels pick their noses? Do angels even have noses? Questions for another day.

Our new favorite gin. Made right here in Oregon. It is pink, which I like. It is tasty, which we both like. This tonic water is mostly cute, and in glass, not plastic. I firmly believe that a good Gin and Tonic is the perfect summer cocktail. It is the alchemy of the gin that makes me giddy.

I had a little leftover paint from another painting project. Oh, and it was raining. Again. In summer. So I was inside painting. Instead of washing the paint down the drain, I livened up my very cheap hanging lamp...

Lots of time spent on the deck, soaking in the awaited sun...Have lovely summer day.

Peony Love

2011-06-09T08:59:00.001-07:00

I have been awaiting her arrival with bated breath, and here she is! The Lovely Peony Blooms. We have had so little rain and so much sun, I am afraid to relax and believe that indeed summer may be arriving. But alas, when I opened my eyes just before the sun rise, I saw that sweet color of pink that calls forth a sunny day.

I am reveling in these details, for my focus is lost and I find I am coasting on a river of unknown. My heart still grieves for lost friendships and connection.

For today, I will inhale the sweetness of The Peony...

Any Portlanders out there interested in art classes for their wee ones, en plein air? I have a lovely deck, tons of supplies and lots to share.

Not Much But Rain

2011-06-02T08:40:00.000-07:00

Yes, Memorial Day Weekend was filled with rain. Note the mud on the wellies, it came from trying to run out during nice bits and do some planting. And mowing. This perfect Pacific Northwest combination of rain and bits of sun make for super growing grass. I don't care much if the lawn is a bit overgrown, but all of our neighbors have tidy mow and blow lawns, so I figure I should play nice. The cold temperatures were softened with a little Beagle cuddling. But, Hark! She smells a squirrel...

The Lovely Sun

2011-05-27T10:32:00.000-07:00

My new fave morning spot!

Hops

Oregano

I am really proud of theses puppies!

Chocolate Mint and Spearmint in the old laundry tub...

The sun has been making a few appearances in The City of Roses. Not many, but that magical mixture of rain and sun makes for this...Spring is springing and the weather is moderate enough to have tea on the deck one or two mornings a week.

Lots blooming in the garden. Are any of you proud of your perennials when they spring back after winter's bitter cold? Or is it just me? I don't mind, I will own it. I am really happy for the perennials that weather the winter. Very courageous, if you ask me...I have been planting in buckets that have been floating around, trying to accommodate all of the new seedlings. Now we just need a good shot of rainy nights and sunny days and I will close my eyes and pretend I am still living on that island in the sea.

No More Leaving

2011-05-17T20:53:00.000-07:00

No More Leaving

Some point

Your relationship

With God

Will

Become like this:

Next time you meet Him in the forest

Or on a crowded city street

There won't be anymore

"Leaving."

That is,

God will climb into

Your pocket.

You will simply just take

Yourself

Along!

From: 'The Gift'

Translated by Daniel Ladinsky

And Just Like That...

2011-05-16T20:08:00.000-07:00

He goes from babe to man. He even lit his own birthday candles...

It is so easy when they have favorites. Boy likes cheesecake. Girl likes cherry pie. Husbandly likes, well anything.

This is the easiest cheesecake recipe in the world. Really.

Two packs softened cream cheese

One can sweetened condensed milk

8oz sour cream

1cup whipping cream

A bit of lemon zest and a few squeezes of lemon juice

Vanilla, Cardamon or Saffron can be added for flavor(or whatever you like)

Mix until smooth in mixer

Crust

1.5 packs of graham crackers, pulsed in food processor until it resembles sand

Handful of nuts, your choice pulsed with crackers

Enough butter to wet graham cracker/nut mixture(it should look like wet sand)

Add a good shot of Almond Extract(or anything you prefer)

Pat evenly into pan, cook at 325 for 15 minutes

Pour cream cheese filling into crust

Cook at 350 for 45 mins, or until center is somewhat firm

I like to add a saffron whipped cream on top if I didn't use it to flavor the cheesecake. Saffron Whipped Cream is Amazing. Really. Crumble a few strands of Saffron into the cream, with a bit of sugar.

For the birthday boy, I just used cherries and vanilla whipped cream, because that is what he likes.

Jeanne Oliver Designs-Be Still My Heart

2011-05-11T10:06:00.000-07:00

These designs are so sweet and lovely!!! I think the floral tapestry bag should be mine. Now. Yesterday. Thank you very much.

Jeanne Oliver Shop-sigh...

Jeanne Oliver Designs-sigh...

Tulip Farm

2011-05-02T11:04:00.000-07:00

We spent May Day surrounded by bobbing tulip heads, cool sunshine and the true shift that spring is finally here. Oh, to stand amid a field of tulips...what a completely refreshing way to pass some time on this lovely earth.

This is where we were.

She Is The First Thing I See When I Open My Eyes

2011-04-22T07:40:00.000-07:00

The winter has been cold and grey and soppy. There has been snow, ice, sleet, hail, freezing temperatures and endless drops of rain. There were days when the sky seemed so heavy and dark, that I could hardly breathe. My chest felt heavy and I longed for spring deeply and with great melancholy.

She sat in the dark earth through all of this. She protected her beauty and fragile petals inside her thick brown coat. Her tenacity is admirable. It took a very long time for her to finally open to the cold, grey sky, for the ground is still very cold, despite what the calendar states. I debated about whether I should pluck her, but there are many brothers and sisters, so I brought her inside. In the pre-dawn, she appears to me as a lotus blossom. She takes me back, to the night on a train in Central India. I awoke to fussy babe, as we settled into our nursing rhythm, I glanced out at the rapidly moving night. The moon had illuminated endless watery fields of lotus blossoms, white, red and pink. As far as I could see, in the dark and lighted night, lotus blossoms bobbed on the horizon.

This tulip, this sweet, tenacious tulip worked all winter, guarding her gifts, tending her soft core, to bring this beautiful, haunting memory back to me. Thank you, sweet girl.

Spring Felting

2011-04-11T15:24:00.000-07:00

There is nothing like the potential of an egg to make one stop and think, "Am I living on this planet enough? Am I birthing anything new and alive into the world?"

The Incredible Egg.

These were crafted with wee six and seven year old fingers.

Lovely.

The Egg.

Some Thrifting And Thrifty Baking

2011-04-11T15:11:00.000-07:00

The cute granny napkin is so darling. Plus, I like when there is a little black in the work. You do not usually see much black, so it is a treat to me. Two thumbtacks and Voila! Instant, handmade art for spring. The tulips are coming! The tulips are coming!

The cake looks good, no? This was made with my thrifty heart in mind. We had a couple of eggs, a box of vanilla cake mix from Trader Joe's, a wee bit of whipping cream and the dregs of two Bonne Maman jam jars. Blackberry and Raspberry, I think. I added the last of the whiskey into the cake batter, plus a bit more vanilla. For the whipped cream, I scraped two nearly empty jars of jam into the already whipped cream with a large dash of Almond Extract. No sugar needed. I chopped a few almonds for crunch. After the cake cooled a bit, I turned it onto a plate and stuck into the freezer for a bit. This way, I could frost it, but when I served it, the center part was still a bit warm. Very nice.

There is tons more thrifty goodness. Stay tuned.

Spring Is Springing

2011-04-08T09:18:00.000-07:00

I walk about the neighborhood and can't help but wonder at the work of the trees. All winter, gathering their resources, anticipating spring and summer and autumn and the work ahead of them. I imagine it must be very difficult to strive ever upward, the diligence it must take to push out those first few tender green buds from their bony, wooden fingers...Along the Williamette River, a garland of pink and white blossoms twinkle mid-day. Oh, yes, my friends, Spring Is Springing!

The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

2011-04-05T18:58:00.000-07:00

Lots of thrifting in these parts. The Father, Son and Holy Ghost have come to live with us. Also, found these cute iron chairs. I put new fabric on one, I am going to put oilcloth on the other two for outside. You know, for when it stops raining...

Sunday Morning Breakfast

2011-03-27T09:28:00.000-07:00

Potato, Cauliflower and Pea Kachoris with Peach Chutney

I Want Spring To Come. Now. Please.

2011-03-18T20:47:00.000-07:00

I was so cold and sloshy today that I had to paint some Spring Time. Please, Lady Spring, hurry please. Thank you.

I Long For Spring

2011-03-06T06:52:00.000-08:00

A Prayer in Spring

OH, give us pleasure in the flowers today;

And give us not to think so far away

As the uncertain harvest; keep us here

All simply in the springing of the year.

Oh, give us pleasure in the orcahrd white,

Like nothing else by day, like ghosts by night;

And make us happy in the happy bees,

The swarm dilating round the perfect trees.

And make us happy in the darting bird

That suddenly above the bees is heard,

The meteor that thrusts in with needle bill,

And off a blossom in mid air stands still.

For this is love and nothing else is love,

To which it is reserved for God above

To sanctify to what far ends he will,

But which it only needs that we fulfill.

by Robert Frost

Through The Snowy Wood

2011-02-28T13:38:00.000-08:00

Through the Snowy Wood we travelled.

To the sea we sailed, through thick snowy, flakes.

The sea was rough and vocal. Sweet and salted.

Rarely calm, yet soothing all the same.

The night hooted and howled, warning us,

"Do not sleep too deeply, for I am always here."

Back to town we creeped, engulfed in winter-white airy flakes.

Here the earth is deeply wet, without the charm of a downy winter suit...

Miss February P. Snow

2011-02-24T06:48:00.000-08:00

Snow. Like rain, but more sweet and soft spoken.

More Curtain Love

2011-02-23T07:01:00.001-08:00

Here are some close ups of the screen printed curtains I made. I found the white canvas curtains at Goodwill. They were all different sizes, but in great shape. It was easy to screen print on the fabric, just took a little more elbow grease.

I tea dyed the fabric and because they were different lengths, I added a bit of fabric at the bottom. I thought of keeping it even, but I am okay with the funky lengths. Really. Plus, remember? I like projects over and done with in one fell swoop. I like them. At night, the color makes them appear illuminated from the street. It is a perk.

I took the class here. It was great.

Recent Work

2011-02-21T07:39:00.000-08:00

Past. Present. Future.

These were completed just before Christmas. Watercolor paper with various mediums.

New Night Light

2011-02-19T16:59:00.000-08:00

I was trying to make a hanging lamp for my room. For as much as I love this kooky little house, it comes with very few heating vents and even fewer electrical outlets. The hanging portion of the project DID NOT WORK out. But not for lack of trying, that's for sure.

And even though I LOVE this colander, I think it looks kind of cool as a night light. I put it on the shoe rack by the door for those late night arrivals. It is cute, no?

You Are Sweet

2011-02-15T08:52:00.000-08:00

I had the privilege of spending Saint Valentine's Day with some seven year old lovelies. They were exchanging sweet Valentine notes written in their newly learned writing. So sweet. There is something about seven year olds. They aren't quite babies, they are rough and tumbly, but they still smell like strawberries and have tender little hearts.

So, I spent the afternoon in this dialogue:

Seven year old strawberry: "What does this say?"

Me: "It says, "You are sweet.""

Seven year old strawberry: "What does this say?"

Me: "It says, "You are funny.""

Seven year old strawberry: "What does this say?"

Me: "It says, "You are caring.""

You get the picture. It went on like this for 45 minutes. The best one?

Written on a rock: You are cuckoo in the best possible way!

How lucky am I! You should be so lucky. Heehee.

California Dreaming

2011-02-13T07:08:00.000-08:00

I see the green shoots emerging from the cold and frigid earth, but it doesn't mean spring is here. I know there are many more foggy, cold and damp mornings to come before I awake at daybreak to clear, clean sunshine. So, here I sit, tucked under a downy coverlet, dreaming of California.

In February.

Out of the Rolling Ocean the Crowd
by Walt Whitman
(1819-1892)

Out of the rolling ocean the crowd came a drop gently to me,
Whispering I love you, before long I die,
I have travel'd a long way merely to look on you to touch you,
For I could not die till I once look'd on you,
For I fear'd I might afterward lose you.

Now we have met, we have look'd, we are safe,
Return in peace to the ocean my love,
I too am part of that ocean my love, we are not so much separated,
Behold the great rondure, the cohesion of all, how perfect!
But as for me, for you, the irresistible sea is to separate us,
As for an hour carrying us diverse, yet cannot carry us diverse forever;
Be not impatient--a little space--know you I salute the air, the
ocean and the land,
Every day at sundown for your dear sake my love.

Catching Up

2011-02-12T14:28:00.001-08:00

Overlooking The Getty at Sunrise

Pretty, pretty light

And what do ya know?

This is what the sky looked like this week.

In Portland!

Yeehee.

Corners

2011-02-10T09:52:00.000-08:00

Everything is shifting, even in the corners of the house. Sad winter plants are perking up at the least bit of sun's rays. The creamer holds Creeping Thyme that has over-wintered quite nicely. Woke to fog, but hope the sun makes an appearance.

Heavy Sigh

2011-02-07T09:10:00.000-08:00

Some days feel like one big heavy sigh. Today is a Sigh Day. As was yesterday and the day before. Maybe tomorrow will be a Yippee! Day...

Finished Curtains

2011-02-05T16:03:00.000-08:00

What do you think?

Silk Screen

2011-01-28T21:14:00.000-08:00

Something new.

Fun.

Messy.

A wee bit expensive.

But look at this.

I tea dyed them.

I will share photos after they are hung.

Thank you Susanna and Modern Domestic. Oh, and the clothes dryer is made from reclaimed bits of wood from the mills that would normally be burned or destroyed by a wood worker in Eugene. Manly found it here. You know what this means, right? Yep. The SUN WAS SHINING. The best part? I put a FREE sign on our old one, (which was still in working order, we just outgrew it) and set it on the lawn. Soon enough a kind gent happened by, boy child was mulching the Christmas Tree, saw them exchange a nod. Off went the gent with a new/old drying rack. Just in time for warmer weather. I know... I am just keeping my fingers crossed.

Oh, did I mention? The fabric is from Goodwill. Pre-made canvas curtains from Target, their clearance stuff finds it's way to GW. The most expensive one? $4.99. Three of them were half off. Shout out to Miss Robyn! Love half off at the thrift store.

Make Tea. Not War.

2011-01-27T08:50:00.000-08:00

That is exactly what I plan to do. I think this one. With raw honey. Or maybe this one. The latter requires half and half.

On Drinking Tea Alone...

"In my own hands I hold a bowl of tea;

I see all of nature represented in its green color.

Closing my eyes I find green mountains and pure water within my own heart.

Silently sitting alone and drinking tea, I feel these become part of me."

Soshitsu Sen

Grand Master XIV

Urasenke School of Tea

Ahh, The Sun and Moon...

2011-01-25T07:02:00.000-08:00

Faithful Lover

The moon came to me last night

With a sweet question.

She said,

"The sun has been my faithful lover

For millions of years.

Whenever I offer my body to him

Brilliant light pours from his heart.

Thousands then notice my happiness

And delight in pointing

Toward my beauty.

Hafiz,

Is it true that our destiny

Is to turn into Light

Itself?"

And I replied,

Dear moon,

Now that your love is maturing,

We need to sit together

Close like this more often

So I might instruct you

How to become

Who you

Are!

Apologies

2011-01-24T12:41:00.000-08:00

Kwan-Yin in Her Winter Garden

To those who visit here for uplifting thoughts. I had a moment of, well, human-ness. So, I am sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings or scared you away. We will return to our regularly scheduled program: Grace. Healing. Hope.

Because that is what this space is meant to do... remind me that life is not as dark as I see it. That somewhere, deep below the charred remains of my former life, is the girl I know. The girl who is happy enough to have a breeze kiss my cheek.

So, please come back. Even you, H-1 and H-2. What you are seeing is how I want to view the world, it is my hope for a brighter future.

Stressors

2011-01-22T12:14:00.000-08:00

Let's see...which people in my life are actually stressors?

Oh, I know. You. You are my stressors. My ex-husband is not my stressor. I am fully aware of his every motivation, unlike, well...You.

You have had me filmed, you have followed me, you clearly read my blog EVERY DAY. Or at least you think it is important to set one of your paralegal's at a desk in your fancy office and catalog my blog entries. I am so sorry, Mr. or Miss Paralegal. It must be so boring for you.

Oh, and by the way...H1, You were overheard by the woman you were flirting with sitting on the steps in my attorney's office before my deposition. She saw you give H2 a big pat on the back and say, " Go get her." Yep. "GO GET HER!" How about "Good luck?" or "Do a good job?"

Hmmm, just because one is paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T OUT TO GET YOU.

So, the next few posts will be dedicated to you, H1 and H2, since you are here already...I might as well give you something to read...Because, I am watching you too.

Three Fold Social Order

2011-01-17T08:27:00.000-08:00

The reflection of the group reflects the individual as well.

Christopher Guilfoil: Banksy Aphorisms

2011-01-15T07:25:00.000-08:00

Christopher Guilfoil: Banksy Aphorisms: "“People are taking the piss out of you everyday. They butt into your life, take a cheap shot at you and then disappear. They leer at you ..."

A Winter Trip North

2011-01-15T06:28:00.000-08:00

I spent several years living in Seattle in the early 90's. It was still a little sleepy and the great influx of California natives had yet to arrive. I would take my wee ones on the ferry for a treat. No place to go, just enjoying being on the Puget Sound. Now the wee ones are grown and have little interest in hanging with their mom for too long...So, my love and I headed north.

Not a drop of rain, only clear skies and freezing temps. But, oh, the sunshine. Be still my winterized heart...

2011-01-13T06:09:00.000-08:00

This place where you are right now, God circled on a map for you

~Hafiz

Merry Making

2010-12-23T14:54:00.000-08:00

All the shopping and sewing and planning is done. Let the Merry-Making begin!

Pineapple Crate Coffee Table

2010-12-14T05:01:00.000-08:00

I have been mulling over different ideas for a coffee table. The space is limited, so I wanted something smallish. I also wanted casters, well, because I LOVE casters. I love being able to move things for cleaning and casters make it so easy.

On our last trip to the Goodwill, we decided to wander over to furniture before we left. Low and behold, A Pineapple Crate. Now, I do not know how it got here, nor how one would store prickly pineapples in this crate, but that is what it has stamped all over it!

Manly added some casters, I added a vintage tray and Voila!

Total cost: $51.99

Crate: $19.99

Casters: $32

Plus it was a lot easier than some of the other crazy ideas I had, all including casters. Of course.

Mary Waiting In The Garden

2010-12-11T08:07:00.000-08:00

Waiting for the birth.

Taking A Break

2010-11-16T04:34:00.000-08:00

Taking a wee break. Be well. Xo.

Oh, How Things Change...And Stay The Same.

2010-11-01T06:01:00.000-07:00

My girl. Will still wear dresses I make for her...

On A Walk

2010-10-30T05:50:00.000-07:00

I found this lovely branch. And now, Autumn greets each cold morn...

Pumpkin

2010-10-12T08:58:00.000-07:00

The first Pumpkin Pie of the season. It only looked like this for a few seconds. Everyone dug in before it had even cooled. Yum. Warm pumpkin goodness topped with toasted pecans and vanilla whipped cream. Wish you were here.

Sewing

2010-10-09T05:26:00.000-07:00

Lots of pillow making. I only use bits of fabric I have thrifted. Once in a great while, I will allow myself to buy fabric retail, little bits I can't resist.

The linen fabric I purchased from the great sale bin here. The paisley fabric is a bit of leftover from the curtains I made a few months ago. I found that fabric at a consignment store. I did not love it at first, but now, it's golden color makes me happy to be in this room. I just covered one of the many guest bed pillows with this envelope style pillow. Merry the Wonder Beagle requires frequent washing of all sitting areas.

On the chaise is a duvet I stitched from a tablecloth I found for $4 at Target. I couldn't pass up the yardage, knowing one day, it would find it's destiny. From one tablecloth I made two shopping bags, a small duvet, and an envelope pillow. I think I used EVERY scrap of fabric. Love that.

The vintagey pink pillow is some fabric that used to be Cameron Diaz's old curtains. It is a long, silly story about how I came to have these curtains in my possession. It is vintage, so it is fragile. Where the sun hit the curtains, the fabric just crumbled. I washed and dried the fabric several times to make sure everything that was going to rip, did. I was left with a good chunk of usable fabric. I stitched together another envelope pillow with a bit of thrifted cotton lace.

The brown fabric with red and teal was another thrift store treasure. It was a panel curtain for french doors and had the same sun damage as Cameron's curtains. This piece had tons of good fabric, I even added a few vintage Bakelite buttons. I am trying to make the chaise area a bit comfier. I think the space is starting to warm up, just in time for the cold weather...

The couch is usually draped with a white tablecloth with a crochet trim, as the weather turns, I was looking to warm up the room since we haven't found the perfect rug yet. I found this tablecloth at...you guessed it, the thrift shop. It is a thick linen and in perfect condition. I can't bear to cut it, just yet.

It is raining outside, so come cozy up with a cup of Caramel Rooibos and a handmade pillow. It is warm and cozy inside The Hen House.

The Spider.

2010-10-07T10:17:00.000-07:00

The Spider and the Fly

by Mary Howitt

"Will you walk into my parlor?" said the Spider to the Fly,

"'Tis the prettiest little parlor that ever you did spy;

The way into my parlor is up a winding stair,

And I have many curious things to show you when you are there."

"Oh no, no," said the Fly, "to ask me is in vain;

For who goes up your winding stair can ne'er come down again."

"I'm sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high;

Will you rest upon my little bed?" said the Spider to the Fly.

"There are pretty curtains drawn around, the sheets are fine and thin;

And if you like to rest awhile, I'll snugly tuck you in!"

"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "for I've often heard it said

They never, never wake again, who sleep upon your bed!"

Said the cunning Spider to the Fly, "Dear friend, what can I do

To prove that warm affection I've always felt for you?

I have within my pantry, good store of all that's nice;

I'm sure you're very welcome - will you please take a slice?"

"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "kind sir, that cannot be,

I've heard what's in your pantry, and I do not wish to see!"

"Sweet creature," said the Spider, "you're witty and you're wise;

How handsome are your gauzy wings, how brilliant are your eyes!

I have a little looking-glass upon my parlor shelf;

If you step in one moment, dear, you shall behold yourself."

"I thank you, gentle sir," she said, "for what you're pleased to say;

And bidding good morning now, I'll call another day."

The Spider turned him round about, and went into his den,

For well he knew the silly Fly would soon come back again;

So he wove a subtle web in a little corner sly,

And set his table ready to dine upon the Fly.

then he came out to his door again, and merrily did sing,

"Come hither, hither, pretty Fly, with the pearl and silver wing;

Your robes are green and purple, there's a crest upon your head;

Your eyes are like the diamond bright, but mine are as dull as lead."

Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little Fly,

Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by;

With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer drew, -

Thinking only of her brilliant eyes, and green and purple hue;

Thinking only of her crested head - poor foolish thing! At last,

Up jumped the cunning Spider, and fiercely held her fast.

He dragged her up his winding stair, into his dismal den

Within his little parlor - but she ne'er came out again!

And now, dear little children, who may this story read,

To idle, silly, flattering words, I pray you ne'er heed;

Unto an evil counsellor close heart, and ear, and eye,

And take a lesson from this tale of the Spider and the Fly.

We have had a bit of a Spider Epidemic here in The Pacific Northwest. Of course, this follows the Great Mosquito Epidemic of 2010...It is fascinating watching the spider condominium building up around the yucca. The bigger ones eat the smaller ones until there are only a few HUGE spiders Lording it over The Manor. Personally, as a sweet treat to all stinging critters, I can't wait for a good cold snap.

Autumn Comes

2010-10-01T14:40:00.000-07:00

The Autumn

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Go, sit upon the lofty hill,

And turn your eyes around,

Where waving woods and waters wild

Do hymn an autumn sound.

The summer sun is faint on them --

The summer flowers depart --

Sit still -- as all transform'd to stone,

Except your musing heart.

How there you sat in summer-time,

May yet be in your mind;

And how you heard the green woods sing

Beneath the freshening wind.

Though the same wind now blows around,

You would its blast recall;

For every breath that stirs the trees,

Doth cause a leaf to fall.

Oh! like that wind, is all the mirth

That flesh and dust impart:

We cannot bear its visitings,

When change is on the heart.

Gay words and jests may make us smile,

When Sorrow is asleep;

But other things must make us smile,

When Sorrow bids us weep!

The dearest hands that clasp our hands, --

Their presence may be o'er;

The dearest voice that meets our ear,

That tone may come no more!

Youth fades; and then, the joys of youth,

Which once refresh'd our mind,

Shall come -- as, on those sighing woods,

The chilling autumn wind.

Hear not the wind -- view not the woods;

Look out o'er vale and hill-

In spring, the sky encircled them --

The sky is round them still.

Come autumn's scathe -- come winter's cold --

Come change -- and human fate!

Whatever prospect Heaven doth bound,

Can ne'er be desolate.

Preparing for Michaelmas

2010-09-26T15:19:00.000-07:00

Small Spaces

2010-09-19T22:09:00.000-07:00

Small spaces means creative solutions. Lots of celebrations around here, which means lots of lovely house guests. Years in an ashram has made it so that I can only cook for a crowd, so I like it. A lot. I love to feed people and warm their bellies with fresh food. So bring on the crowds!

When the house is filled to the gills, this little nook serves as a make-shift guest room. It is really the couch smack dab in the middle of the living room and major house highway. I hope this little screen provides a bit of privacy. The light in the room was warm and cozy as the dark Autumn rain flowed in musical sheets from the skies. I hope it lulls our guest into a sleepy, foresty dream land.

Unfinished

2010-09-11T22:17:00.001-07:00

Time to finish. Ok. Go.

Lots Going On Here

2010-09-09T17:14:00.000-07:00

There has been a lot of nesting happening in The Hen House these days. My thrifty nature has dictated every move. In the laundry nook, Manly hung this shelf I found at the Goodwill for $1.99. I altered it a bit with some leftover spray paint and a strip of oil cloth. I thought the oil cloth would make for easy lifting from the shelf and easy cleaning, and it does. The jars are jars I have used for flour or other dry goods over the years. My new favorite storage container is the glass milk jar. I keep a few and take a few back for the $1 bottle refund. I use a powdered laundry detergent which I purchase in bulk or in cardboard boxes, to avoid the dreaded plastic bottle. I use vinegar as a softener and brightener for whites. I also use the baking soda for a bright lift to heavily soiled loads. I wish I could get Borax in bulk. I use it for tons of household cleaning and a bleach replacement. The cute bee container was a Marshalls find. They had a whole line of them. I wish I could have purchased more...Oh well. I have this one. I am able to purchase baking soda in bulk, I just bring my container in to the store for a refill. No waste at all!

All the sewing is the first bit of a new line of Home Goods I am working on this week: Napkins, Tea Towels, Pillows and Bulk Bags, etc. Most of the fabric is re-purposed, but I couldn't resist this Far, Far Away pattern. Rapunzel and The Owl and The Pussy Cat are the two I settled on, but I want them ALL. I always like to put a little hand made detail, like embroidery. What do you think?

Trying to keep my hands busy...

Look What I Learned!

2010-08-31T11:42:00.000-07:00

Finally. After years and years of finding alternatives to buttons and zippers, I just took a class. I learned to do it. Quickly. I can't believe I wasted all that time! Sheesh. Anyway. I had this bit of vintage fabric, which I LOVE. I finally settled on a pillow case. Better to see it everyday than wait for the perfect thing to make, which never appears. So, here we are. A vintage floral pillow case with Bakelite buttons. AND button holes. Which I now know how to make with ease. Next up? Zippers. That's right. Zippers!

Bittersweet Thrifting

2010-08-27T12:53:00.000-07:00

I am a thrifter at heart. I love a deal. A really good deal and a really good "find." We just moved to this city and I have been hunting around for good treasure hunting spots. We found a great place. The only problem, was he knew what he had and he wasn't giving it away. That is okay, because we have found some great stuff. Really great stuff.

Yesterday, we saw the sign. The sign of our times. Closing. Sad.

However, the next line said 50% off. It is bittersweet, because although I knew we find some great deals, a great store and a great store owner would be gone...

Here is some of the booty. The Girl Child scored BIG on vintage dresses. More on that later.

There were bits of vintage cloth that will soon be a pillow cover, pink gingham apron with ric-rac. Oh, my.

A polka dot teapot and sweet room divider. Tins and fancy yardage that will soon be funky curtains for The Boy Child and a vintage style dress for The Girl Child. Tin mirror. It was all just too much and too cheap. My fingers will be busy sewing! Yippee.

It was a good day. Wish you could have been there. Xo.

Go Do It

2010-08-26T07:18:00.000-07:00

Thrifted Home Decor

2010-08-18T13:13:00.001-07:00

There is a spot in the television area of our home that has been blank. I found a really great art print that I love and have been trying to find something interesting to place in the blank space. I really love the Make Art Not War print by Shepard Fairey and wanted the right thing for this space. While kicking around a consignment shop with the Girl Child, I spotted these empty film reels and thought they might do the trick. I like the fact that they are a little different and in various colors. One is a cool silver blue and each one has one interesting quality. The set of five was $8. I would be happier if it were $4, because I am so cheap and love "The Deal." I like them, we will see if the man agrees. What do you think?

She

2010-08-16T07:01:00.000-07:00

has given me so much. The last few years have been rough. My entire life was dismantled, career, friends, reputation. Plus, I was recovering from an injury and surgery for much of this time. The injury was the catalyst for the dismantling. Then, my boy wanted a dog. He always wanted a dog, I was just too busy and worked too much and thought it would be unfair to the animal if we were gone all the time. Then the dismantling occurred and I found myself with long hours to fill. I figured this would be a good time to get him the dog he always wanted. I had time now. The thing is, the dog bonded with me...Oh, she loves the boy, but she and I? We are connected. We are connected in a way I never knew could happen with an animal. And truth be told? I like it. A lot.

It Is Official

2010-08-14T17:54:00.000-07:00

She is Twenty.

I can remember seeing her for the first time. She came four days after my 23rd birthday. I thought I was so ready. Heehee. I cut her cord myself. That always catches my breath, even after twenty years. We buried her placenta under the mango tree. We no longer live on the ocean in the islands, but I bet those mangoes are the sweetest mangoes on The North Shore...Just like her.

How To Be Alone

2010-08-14T06:51:00.000-07:00

Via Andrea

Hand Made Birthday

2010-08-09T13:39:00.000-07:00

This is just part of the Girl Child's 20th birthday gift. Kind of stuck on the next thing. Bag? Slip? Petticoat?

ALL the elements, save for the thread, was thrifted. I love finding new uses for fabric that was just sitting in a dusty thrift store. The fabric is really funny, with a group of people ready to take a horseless carriage ride around Central Park! I mixed it up a little by adding the orange gingham waist band, I used a chocolate brown binding for the hem. I despise hemming and find every alternative possible...

I hope she likes it.

Birthday Love

2010-08-09T07:47:00.000-07:00

Sweet treats.

Just for being born...

These are from

Cupcake Jones.

Root Beer Float

Chocolate Mint

Chocolate

Vanilla(My Fave)

Red Velvet

Peanut Butter and Fresh Jam

Yum.

A Gift

2010-08-08T10:29:00.000-07:00

This is just one of my lovely birthday gifts. It is a Fiesta Pitcher my Girl Child bought for me in the most lovely shade of grassy green...Xo. I also LOVE that she used a piece of packing paper from our move and a bit of lace from the sewing box with which to wrap the gift. A girl after my own thrifty, recycle loving heart...

While Walking In The Forest

2010-08-08T08:39:00.000-07:00

I spotted these circular ferns. I was so moved. This fern is so in love with it's beauty that it can't wait to hold it's own hands...Lovely. Go ahead, love yourself like that.

The Perfect Way To Begin A New Year

2010-08-07T14:56:00.001-07:00

I got slapped in the face with a waterfall.

I can't think of a better way to start my new year on the planet. Fresh, newly recycled water, filtered over rock and earth, from cloud and raindrop, from snowflake to raging river water, I bathed my face and spirit in this renewed water.

With Passion!

2010-08-05T13:24:00.000-07:00

With Passion

With

passion pray.

With passion make love.

With passion eat and drink and dance and play.

Why look like a dead fish

in this ocean

God?

-Rumi

Translated by D. Ladinsky

Why Aren't We Screaming Drunks?

2010-08-05T06:56:00.000-07:00

Why Aren't We Screaming Drunks?

The sun once glimpsed God's true nature

And has never been the same.

Thus that radiant sphere

Constantly pours its energy

Upon this earth

As does He from behind

The veil.

With a wonderful God like that

Why isn't everyone a screaming drunk?

Hafiz's guess is this:

Any thought that you are better or less

Than another man

Quickly

Breaks the wine

Glass.

-Hafiz

Translated by Daniel Ladinsky

Sweet Dreams

2010-08-05T06:12:00.000-07:00

The Hen House came with a blank slate of a yard. There are a couple of trees and a very overgrown rosebush. I have been planting little beds and pots of herbs for cooking. I have planted lots of varieties of lavender and they are all thriving. I gathered this wee nosegay and hung it on our headboard. Sweet dreams indeed. Xo.

A Tidbit

2010-08-04T08:10:00.000-07:00

Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts.

-Rachel Carson

I Love...

2010-08-03T17:16:00.001-07:00

how flat fabric you find on the clearance table can turn into this...A linen pillow cover with cotton lace and a fun polka dot skirt for my girl. She let's me make her clothes again. Heehee!

Where To Go

2010-08-02T07:18:00.000-07:00

I am at another crossroads. The decision feels overwhelming and scary. So, here I sit. Waiting. Wondering. Pondering. Where to go next...

I Really Like Him

2010-08-01T08:52:00.000-07:00

I found this over on Chris' Blog.

Strength

2010-07-30T09:03:00.000-07:00

Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts.

-Rachel Carson

Swiss Dot Curtains

2010-07-29T16:56:00.000-07:00

Here they are. Would it be weird to say, "I love them?" I do. I really do. Another 1 hour project. No hems. Raw edges and cotton lace trim. Oh, and when the breeze blows? It takes my breath away...

It Felt Love

2010-07-29T09:07:00.000-07:00

It Felt Love

How

Did the rose

Ever open its heart

And give to this world

All its

Beauty?

It felt the encouragement of light

Against its

Being,

Otherwise,

We all remain

Too

Frightened.

-Hafiz

Street Art

2010-07-28T19:27:00.000-07:00

I love street art. There is lots around here in PDX, but I saw this painting on a storefront in San Francisco.

In the Haight.

Enough said.

This Room

2010-07-28T06:44:00.000-07:00

This room is very important to me. As a single mother of a boy AND a girl, I often went without a room, giving the rooms to my children. While raising them, I was in school and then a teacher so funds have always been tight. A three bedroom house is much more expensive than a two bedroom house, so we often lived in tight quarters. I guess this is why I love my room so much. And my bed. And the door. Oh, how I love the door. Our last home had no doors. The children were wee most of the time, so it wasn't an issue, but as they grew, the boy child would often ask for his own door for Christmas. He now has his own room way on the other side of the house...And this? This is my sanctuary. New curtains were just made, will post photos when they are hung! Xo.

The Beagle

2010-07-27T05:40:00.000-07:00

I am sorry. I couldn't resist. Merry, The Wonder Beagle, is my first dog. Before this sweet thing, I was an official Dog Disliker. Didn't touch dogs. Didn't look at dogs. Didn't acknowledge their presence on the earth. Although I did attend a doggy wake for a former student of mine, that was nice. Fast forward a year and here we are...The Beagle sleeping on a brand new couch with her latest toy, which she loves with all of her heart...

Finger Pies

2010-07-26T19:22:00.000-07:00

We turned our berry picking adventure into this! Mixed Berry Finger Pies. I got the recipe from this cute blog, Made By Melissa. I apologize for the weird 1970's editing on the berries. They actually looked so yummy...